Quote from Ricky Gervais

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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up -- they have no holidays.

—Henny Youngman
Atheism and agnosticism signify the rejection of certain images and concepts of God or of truth, which are historically conditioned and therefore inadequate. Atheism is a challenge to religion to purifiy its images and concepts and come nearer to the truth of divine mystery.

—Bede Griffiths
[The founder of] a biblical prophecy Web site called raptureready agrees that Fido and Mittens are doomed. "Pets don't have souls, so they'll remain on Earth. I don't see how they can be taken with you," he says. "A lot of persons are concerned about their pets, but I don't know if they should necessarily trust atheists to take care of them." This paradox poses a challenge for [the Eternal Earth-Bound Pets service operators, who] must reassure the Rapture crowd that [their] pet rescuers are wicked enough to be left behind but good enough to take proper care of the abandoned pets.

—Mike Di Paola (11/02/2010)
There are, after all, atheists who say that they wish the fable were true but are unable to suspend the requisite disbelief, or have relinquished belief only with regret. To this I reply: who wishes that there was a permanent, unalterable celestial depotism that subjected us to continual surveillance and could convict us of thought-crime, and who regarded us as its private property even after we died? How happy we ought to be, at the reflection that there exists not a shred of respectable evidence to support such a horrible hypothesis. And how grateful we should be to those of our predecessors who repudiated this utter negation of human freedom.

—Christopher Hitchens
I think there should be something in science called the "reindeer effect." I don't know what it would be, but I think it'd be good to hear someone say, "Gentlemen, what we have here is a terrifying example of the reindeer effect."

—Jack Handey
Paul Barman: Isn't believing in God like wearing chain mail?
The Onion: In that it protects you from being lanced?
Paul Barman: [Laughs] In that you just don't do it anymore.

06/09/2000
I wouldn't even follow your god on Twitter.

—T-Shirt
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

—Philip K. Dick
There's no religion like no religion

—T-Shirt
A wise man proportions his belief to the evidence.

—David Hume
People almost invariably arrive at their beliefs not on the basis of proof but on the basis of what they find attractive.

—Blaise Pascal
The word God has become empty of meaning through thousands of years of misuse. I use it sometimes, but I do so sparingly. By misuse, I mean that people who have never even glimpsed the realm of the sacred, the infinite vastness behind that word, use it with great conviction, as if they knew what they are talking about. Or they argue against it, as if they knew what it is they are denying. This misuse give rise to absurd beliefs, assertions and egoic delusions, such as "My or our God is the only true God, and your God is false," or Nietzche's famous statement, "God is dead".

—Eckhart Tolle
What would you do if there were no God? Would you commit robbery, rape, and murder, or would you continue being a good and moral person? Either way the question is a debate stopper. If the answer is that you would soon turn to robbery, rape, or murder, then this is a moral indictment of your character, indicating you are not to be trusted because if, for any reason, you were to turn away from your belief in God, your true immoral nature would emerge. If the answer is that you would continue being good and moral, then apparently you can be good without God. QED.

—Michael Shermer
I used to think atheists were arrogant, but now I am one and I like it.

—Tom Lehrer
To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

—Woody Allen
It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time you hear a mouse trap snap, an angel gets set on fire.

—Jack Handey
• Girls require time and money: girls = time•money
• And as we know, time is money: time = money
• So, girls are money squared: girls = money²
• Money is the root of all evil: money = √evil
• ∴ Girls are evil: girls = (√evil)² = evil (*)
Q.E.D.

—Mathematical Proof That Girls Are Evil
Learn to recognize the counterfeit coins
That may buy you just a moment of pleasure
But then drag you for days
Like a broken man
Behind a farting camel

—Hafiz
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

—Groucho Marx
Reading made Don Quixote a gentleman. Believing what he read made him mad.

—George Bernard Shaw

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